Who wants a piece of me?

• coworker: you never wear makeup do you?
• me: not usually
• coworker: your skin is like porcelain. When you were a kid you must have looked like a little porcelain doll.
• me: I guess
• coworker: We all need a little piece of you.
• me: i wish more people felt that way.

Cannibals

If you haven’t felt like this at one time or another, you obviously haven’t worked anywhere I have!

Recently, a large corporation hired several cannibals to increase their diversity, ‘You are all part of our team now,’ said the Human Resources rep during the welcoming briefing. ‘You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don’t eat any employees.’

The cannibals promised they would not.

Four weeks later their boss remarked, ‘You’re all working very hard and I’m satisfied with your work. We have noticed a marked increase in the whole company’s performance. However, one of our secretaries has disappeared.  Do any of you know what happened to her?’

The cannibals all shook their heads, ‘No.’

After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others,

‘Which one of you idiots ate the secretary?’

A hand rose hesitantly.

‘You fool!’ the leader continued.

‘For four weeks we’ve been eating managers and no one noticed anything. But NOOOooo, you had to go and eat someone who actually does something.’

David Cook, you still rock my world…

Although I still haven’t forgiven you for this.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DaUDBi395Is]

Dagger. Heart. Nooooo!

I saw the dinner invite while watching pre-show coverage on the TV Guide channel. I didn’t think it was for real.

Not that I ever would have a chance with him, but still. I love him.

David, when you’re in the midwest this summer for the tour, I’ll be free. promise. Do you like fudge? My fudge is heaven. No seriously, it is. I have brought it into work and people stop by my desk the next day asking for more. One girl even told me she had a dream about it.

Hottest. Thing. Ever.

These are a few of my favorite things…

• the risky business “ol’ time rock’n'roll scene
• Guitar Hero.
• David Cook.
• PRICELESS.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfieqankw2c]

LIVE BLOG/CHAT: American Idol Finale

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LIVE CHAT/BLOG: American Idol Finale

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